Even the greatest artists have off days.
Some even have off albums, usually at the end of their careers or released as some kind of contractual obligation. Early recordings can come back to haunt them too. Sometimes they erroneously thought their worst songs were great. Others were dashed out on a ‘will this do?’ basis. And occasionally, an entire band was hijacked by a strong-willed individual with poor judgement.
Here are 11 rock legends and the songs they'd rather forget.
1. Emerson, Lake and Palmer: 'Memoirs of an Officer and a Gentleman' (1978)
Let’s get this clear at the outset. ELP were a great band, but 1978’s Love Beach album is misconceived and awful. It’s a album of two halves. Side one comprises shorter compositions, mostly co-written by Greg Lake and Pete Sinfield, such as 'All I Want Is You' (released as a single) and the title track.
Side two is given over to Keith Emerson’s 'Memoirs of an Officer and a Gentleman': a lacklustre 20-minute, multi-part concept piece that attempts to recapture the glory days of 1973's 'Karn Evil 9', but fails miserably. Listening to this, one could almost be persuaded that the wretched punks were right in their denunciation of prog rock. Almost.
2. The Beatles: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da (1968)
It topped the charts in many countries (but not the UK or USA, where it was not initially released as a single), as did the cover version by pop group Marmalade, but few Beatles songs have been as reviled as Paul McCartney’s cod-reggae ditty, which was included on the 'White' Album apparently in response to John Lennon’s avant-garde 'Revolution 9' (which, some might argue, better deserves a place on this list). Needless to say, Lennon hated 'Ob-La-Di'.
3. Pink Floyd: 'Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict' (1969)
Pink Floyd’s 1969 double album Ummaguma certainly was an odd beast. The first two sides comprised live recordings of psychedelic Floyd classics, while the second disc carried recordings of individual compositions by each of the band members. Given what came later, one might expect Roger Waters’ contributions to be conceptual in nature.
But after the lovely, pastoral 'Grantchester Meadows' comes this bizarre collection of speeded up rodent noises, interspersed with an exaggerated Scottish voice, by Waters and David Gilmour. The overall effect was seemingly to make housemates of anyone caught listening to the record to exclaim: 'What the f*** is this s***?' The title, however, could not be criticised on grounds of inaccuracy.
4. Guns N’Roses: 'One in a Million' (1988)
Axl Rose’s deeply unpleasant, overtly racist and homophobic account of his arrival in L.A. from Indiana by Greyhound bus was included on the band’s Guns N’Roses Lies mini-album, against the wishes of other members of the band. He defended the lyrics, but the song was rarely played live and seems wisely forgotten today.
5. The Beatles: 'Maxwell’s Silver Hammer' (1968)
No apologies for including a second Fabs song. This is another Paul McCartney composition that John Lennon loathed. It appeared on the Abbey Road album and is a jolly music-hall style song about a man who murders people with a hammer. Ringo Starr has described it as 'the worst track we ever had to record'. According to Beatles biographer Ian MacDonald: 'If any single recording shows why The Beatles broke up, it's "Maxwell's Silver Hammer".'
6. Elton John: 'Jamaica Jerk-Off' (1973)
Included on 1973's otherwise peerless Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, this terrible slice of pop-reggae was written by Elton and Bernie Taupin – as Reggae Dwight and Toots Taupin – and sung in a terrible cod-reggae style. It received suitably awful reviews and has never been played live. It was, however, released as a single in Denmark – with 'Candle in the Wind' on the B-side. What were they thinking?
7. Wings: 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' (1972)
Yes, we’re not quite finished with the Fabs yet. Back in 1972, for reasons best known to himself, Paul McCartney’s Wings released a banal version of the children’s nursery rhyme. Critics were not overly delighted and the single was not included on any of Macca’s solo albums. But, amazingly, it did reach the UK top ten.
8. David Bowie: 'The Laughing Gnome' (1967)
Back in 1967, it seemed that Bowie would do anything for a hit – even releasing this novelty song with speeded-up vocals and a lot of terrible gnome puns. It didn’t work and would have been forgotten had not Decca Records decided to reissue it in 1973 to cash in on his breakthrough Ziggy Stardust album.
It reached number six in the UK charts – and enjoyed a peculiar afterlife when Bowie announced that the setlist for his 1990 Sound+Vision tour would be determined by a public vote. The NME started a campaign to ensure 'The Laughing Gnome' was included and the idea was subsequently scrapped.
9. The Rolling Stones: 'Some Girls' (1978)
If the notion of the Stones going disco wasn’t bad enough, the title track from their 1978 album, with its lewd assertions about the sexual appetites of black girls in particular, was a step too far for many – including civil rights leader Jesse Jackson, who spoke out against the song. Mick Jagger initially defended it as a parody of such attitudes, but the line was dropped from the band’s performance in Martin Scorsese’s concert film Shine a Light.
10. KISS: 'I Was Made For Lovin’ You' (1979)
It's 1979 and KISS go disco, rather desperately. The results are not pretty.
11. The Beatles: 'Taxman' (1966)
Yes, we just can’t leave the Fabs alone. There are several remarkable things about Taxman, in which some very wealthy people whine about being expected to pay their taxes. Remarkably, it was the first Beatles song to address contemporary issues and mention politicians (Wilson, Heath) by name.
Yep, Lennon and co. weren’t complaining about the Vietnam War, but about being expected to part with some of their vast wealth. It was also written by George Harrison – the most ‘spiritual’ Beatle, who was supposedly less concerned with such worldly matters. 'Taxman' appeared on the otherwise wonderful Revolver album.
12. The Rolling Stones: 'We Love You' (1967)
Since the Beatles feature so prominently in the list, it’s only fair that the Stones enjoy another entry. ‘We Love You’ was a message of gratitude to fans for their support after the drugs busts of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards in 1967. Unfortunately for said fans, who bought it in sufficient quantities to propel the single to number eight in the UK chart, the song is a psychedelic mess with guest vocals by John Lennon and Paul McCartney and Mellotron played by Brian Jones. Many – including Lennon – saw it as a poor imitation of ‘All You Need Is Love’.
13. Pink Floyd: 'Not Now John' (1983)
By the time of 1983's The Final Cut album, Floyd were essentially a Roger Waters solo project. ‘Not Now John’ is notable for being the album's only song to feature the vocals of David Gilmour – and the only one to be released as a single. Unfortunately, it’s not notable for much else, being atypically banal by latter-day Floyd standards.
It’s presented as a dialogue between Gilmour (spoddy, oafish) and Waters (intellectual) over a hard rockin’ rhythm. Perhaps inevitably, the single flopped, reaching a lowly number 30 in the UK chart. Floyd didn’t release another single until 1987, by which time Waters was long gone.
14. Bob Dylan: 'Wiggle Wiggle' (1990)
Bob opens his 27th studio album Under the Red Sky with this nonsensical nursery rhyme of a song, which puzzled many fans. Mercifully, it runs for only two minutes and ten seconds, plans for a guitar solo by Slash having been abandoned.
15. Jeff Beck: 'Hi-Ho Silver Lining' (1967)
Being known by the general public for just one song is fine when the song in question is of the calibre of 'Hotel California' or 'A Whiter Shade of Pale'. But when it’s a crappy hit that you recorded when you were young and desperate, that’s another matter.
Jeff Beck was a guitar great whose work anticipated that of Led Zeppelin and inspired generations of musicians. But when he died in 2023, every obituary mentioned the 1967 novelty hit single 'Hi-Ho Silver Lining', which Beck hated. It was written by American songwriters Scott English and Larry Weiss and so impressed producer Mickie Most before it was completed that he persuaded English to finish the lyrics.
But English reportedly wanted to record a version of the song himself, so turned in some nonsense about 'Flies are in your pea soup, baby/They're waving at me'. Most was delighted, got Beck to record it, and the rest is, sadly, rock history. Beck later described the song as 'like having a pink toilet seat hung around your neck for the rest of your life'.
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